Your Weekly Hardcoroscopes
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Aries (March 21 - April 19) Feel free to take a mental health break today, Aries: you need it after…
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Month: June 2018
87 stories found
Gamer Rolls Around in Three Dollars and Twenty-Five Cents He Saved by Going to GameStop
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AKRON, Ohio — Sources confirm that local gamer Gary Norris has spread the modest sum of $3.25 saved by purchasing…
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Record Store Just Going to Pass On Badly Scratched Copy of The Offspring’s ‘Americana’ Like It’s Nothing
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TEMPE, Ariz. — A badly scratched copy of The Offspring’s 1998 studio album Americana was rejected for trade-in by the…
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Funky Kong Denies All Allegations Through Lawyer Kong
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DONKEY KONG ISLAND — Facing a growing list of charges from the DKPD, professional surfer and entrepreneur Funky Kong issued…
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Tattooed Barber Excited to Give Everyone That One Haircut Today
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PHILADELPHIA — Heavily tattooed barber Rob Moreno was reportedly “stoked” Saturday morning to give everyone the same style undercut at…
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If Gentrification Is so Bad, Why Is It so Good for Me, a Man Who Likes Frozen Yogurt?
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Everyone keeps talking about how bad gentrification is. I have to admit I’m not sure what gentrification means, but based…
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If a Secret Show Ye Wish to See, Answer Me These Riddles Three!
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'Tis I, the keeper of the gate! So meet my standards, lest ye seal your fate! I’ve had many a…
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Every Person in Comic Book Store Thankful to be Only Normal One
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SALT LAKE CITY — All six patrons and two clerks in Salt Lake City’s Moonshot Comics Emporium reported they were…
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DIY Scene Actually Just Amish Village
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PHILADELPHIA — Members of a local DIY punk scene were stunned to learn last week that a small portion of…
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‘Weird Al’ Yankovic Polarizes Fans with Childish Gambino Parody ‘This Is My Hair I Cut’
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LOS ANGELES — “Weird Al” Yankovic’s “This is My Hair I Cut,” a parody of Childish Gambino’s extremely popular “This…
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