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If Gentrification Is so Bad, Why Is It so Good for Me, a Man Who Likes Frozen Yogurt?

Everyone keeps talking about how bad gentrification is. I have to admit I’m not sure what gentrification means, but based on how it’s affected me, a man who likes frozen yogurt, I just don’t see the problem.

Just this week, my buddy Dave said the new Yogurt Yum Yums cafe ‘gentrified’ a historic neighborhood. Again, I am basing my understanding on this topic purely based on how it impacts me, so I guess to ‘gentrify’ means to ‘add delicious low-fat dessert options to.’

Or does it have to do with their flavor selection? They have all sorts of flavors, like all that normal ‘strawberry’ and ‘mango’ shit, but then they also have all these weird fusion things like banana-berry and coconut-berry-banana, and last week they started Asian Fusion Yogurt. I’m pretty sure that last one is cultural appropriation, and THAT is a problem. Not sure why people are so up in arms about frozen yogurt places moving into town.

Related: I’m Not Gentrifying This City, It Was My Rich White Asshole of a Dad Who Bought the Apartment

 

So what’s the problem? Dave also told me it was because Yogurt Yum Yums replaced a soup kitchen that used to be here. I dunno why that’s a problem because I’ve been eating at Yums Yums’ for years and I’ve never eaten at a soup kitchen once. What’s so bad about improving the food options around here?

Plus, they play all these great acoustic covers of DMX and NWA and I can see the cool art gallery across the road.

I think Yum Yums’ owner Alastair said he was gonna set up a branch in Little Honduras too, that’d be sweet! Gonna be right in the youth center and that’s great because kids LOVE frozen yogurt!

Maybe these anti-gentrifiers are just prejudice against frozen yogurt vendors. Well I say, we need MORE inclusion and diversity in our frozen yogurt shops. Gentrification for all!

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