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DIY Scene Actually Just Amish Village

PHILADELPHIA — Members of a local DIY punk scene were stunned to learn last week that a small portion of their West Philadelphia community recently appeared in a tourism pamphlet showcasing the Pennsylvania Amish and related attractions, perplexed sources confirmed.


“It’s weird… like, two weeks ago, I started noticing all these people walking around with those little sightseeing pamphlets — like the kind you find at hotels,” said resident Allie Lamb, hanging several dresses out to line-dry. “A picture of my co-op was on the cover of some handout about baking with assorted grains. Like, what the hell?”

The area in question, comprised of several blocks along Baring Street, has long been a hot-spot for Philadelphia’s ruthlessly committed DIY punk scene. Some community members fear, however, that the increased attention could bring in outsiders unfamiliar with the DIY ethos.

“It used to be that you’d have to ask a punk. But now, all this stuff is right there in the gosh-damn brochure,” said upright bassist Luis Graves, on break from raising the frame for a new all-ages venue and community art space. “I’m afraid people are going to start coming out for shows, and never have money for the traveling bands. Don’t take advantage of sliding-scale entry like that — especially if you have enough money to buy raw milk.”

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Despite the unwanted attention, Lamb can see the positives in the extra exposure. “I’ve actually been making way more money on my hand-picked, non-GMO produce and raw vegan goods business since the tourists started coming around to look at us,” she said.

“Plus, I’ve been sleeping better than ever — I heard someone say that artificial light is bad for your sleep cycle, so I got rid of my computer and started to light my apartment with candles and oil lanterns,” she added. “Sometimes people will say to me, ‘I don’t know how you do it,’ or, ‘I could never do it,’ or, ‘This is no way to live,’ but I try to take it as a compliment.”

Both Lamb and Graves declined to be photographed for the article, expressing concerns that photographs count as “sinful, graven images.”