December 2015 - Page 2 of 3

House Show Promoter Calls Cops On Own Terrible Show

Contributor • December 18, 2015

BOSTON – Witnesses report Boston police broke up a show at an Allston house venue known as “Our Haus” last night after…

Bill Murray’s Sudden Promotion to Head of SEC Starting to Make Sense

Contributor • December 17, 2015

WASHINGTON - Reports of Bill Murray's recent, surprising career change to Chairman of the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission are suddenly…

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BREAKING: Malaysian Facebook Friend Wants Your Defunct Band to Tour There

The Hard Times Staff • December 17, 2015

BREAKING: Early reports indicate your Malaysian Facebook friend wants your defunct high-school band, Pig Abortions, to "come tour [Malaysia] already." The…

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Local Sellouts Demand Cash in Exchange for Performance and Merchandise

The Hard Times Staff • December 16, 2015

AUSTIN, Texas - In a blatant display of entitlement, touring band Cheap Shot reportedly demanded legal, minted U.S. dollars -- in virtually any…

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Drummer Reluctantly Compliments Band’s Music Just Before Asking To Borrow Their Equipment

The Hard Times Staff • December 15, 2015

JAMAICA PLAIN, Mass. - Silver-tongued punk Victor Gross resorted to complimenting a band he genuinely hated in hopes it would help…

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Mark Zuckerberg Vows to Donate 99% of Your Private Information to NSA

Ed Saincome • December 14, 2015

MENLO PARK, CA – Just weeks after announcing his plan to donate a majority of his Facebook shares to charity, Mark…

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Punk Mom Embarrassed To Drop Off Juggalo Son at Concert

Ray McMillin • December 11, 2015

LAS VEGAS — Kate Swanson, a local suburban mother and former Plasmatics tribute-band vocalist, was "humiliated" to be seen in public…

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Man Disappointed After Successfully “Finding Himself”

Dan Luberto • December 10, 2015

CHICAGO - After taking what was supposed to be a life-changing trip to India to "find himself," local man Derrick Johnson…

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Trump Proposes “Total and Complete” Ban on Bad Brains in DC

Ian Fishman • December 9, 2015

MOUNT PLEASANT, S.C. – Further fueling a Presidential campaign marked by personal attacks and antagonism, Republican frontrunner Donald J. Trump…

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“Re-Entry Is Not a Right,” Says Trump About VFW Show

Contributor • December 8, 2015

LOWELL, Mass. - "Listen, these losers want to go outside, they want to smoke their mechanical cigarettes, and then they…

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