Go through the Christmas carol canon and there are dozens of songs about wanting to to fuck Santa Claus. “Santa Baby.” “I Saw Mommy Kissing…
Well, it’s that magical time of the year again. It’s the holidays and all that capitalist bullshit that we used to make fun of when…
The holidays are upon us, and we’ve been getting cozy with some of our favorite classic films to get into the spirit. While stumbling across…
It’s hard being a rich punk. Especially when you’re not rich. So my parents got me a sweater for Christmas. The good news is it…
It can be difficult to get in the holiday spirit as an adult. It can be difficult spending time with a family you relate to…
Christmas is supposedly the most wonderful time of the year. Yet it’s the most difficult to navigate without a little Christmas “tree” if you catch…
GARY, Ind. — Cass Pollard was shocked this Christmas to discover that their partner’s family apparently opens Christmas presents stone-cold sober the entire time, sources…
Success! My grandma got run over in a freak reindeer accident which puts me one step closer to my family’s fortune. Look, I’m just an…
Did you hear the news? Santa Claus is coming to town! For most, that means putting out the cookies and milk and eagerly awaiting his…
Each year, one holiday brings everybody back to their hometown as families gather to eat, drink, and hide their resentment towards one another through phony…
Summer is over! It’s growing dark earlier, kids are headed back to school, and there’s a hint of chill in the air. This time of…
I hate authority. From cops to judges to teachers to politicians, I flat out refuse to partake in bootlicking of any form. This tongue will…
BEVERLY HILLS, Calif. — Friends and family of Mariah Carey’s boyfriend Bryan Tanaka are increasingly concerned about his poorly thought-out decision to not give a…
You may say there’s no such thing as Santa, but me and my Grandpa, we believe. We know all to well that jolly old son…
First they they came for ‘Baby, It’s Cold Outside,’ and I said nothing. Then they came for ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’ and I…