DULUTH, Minn. — Exasperated coworkers of punk Jimmy Alpin threatened to quit after watching his work ethic repeatedly be eclipsed by his drinking ethic, sources…
SAN DIEGO — Local procrastinator Rupa Patel claims she’s never more productive around the house than when she’s on tight deadlines at the office with…
DOVER, Del. — Struggling power-thrash band Boot Full of Piss recently sat down to a predictably cheap dinner made up of a bunch of unused…
HEAVEN — Local divine and benevolent deity, God, updated His LinkedIn profile yesterday, changing His title to Content Creation Ninja in the first step to…
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — The only working toilet in local punk house The Mooseknuckle is simply a litter box following a breakdown in plumbing weeks ago,…
ONEONTA, N.Y. — Patrons at punk venue The Station report that the only functioning fixture in the entire bathroom is local coke dealer Reese Wicker,…
OAKLAND, Calif. — Recent trust-fund recipient and part-time blogger Nick Headon reportedly smirked yesterday while vigorously typing on his brand new MacBook Pro at Merritt…