Salim Alam
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MINNEAPOLIS — Local cop and bland-tasted white guy Cody Anderson admitted earlier today that, despite his general aversion to any…
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DALLAS — White liberal and exhausted local ally, Sonya Neptin, is wondering how many tweets they have to write before…
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Jonah Nink
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CHICAGO — Local goth Raven Stevens spent her entire savings on new clothes yesterday after an attempt to eat a…
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Greg Heller
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NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Militant renaissance man Jack White filed his 2020 tax return on vinyl in a move that’s thrilling…
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Mark Hassenfratz
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NEW ORLEANS — Local punk Sarah Moreno was seen scouring the crowd at a show last night for her blind…
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Rob Steinberg
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AURORA, Ill. — Soon-to-be 36-year-old white man James Brady is spending his last days in the 18-to-35 consumer demographic saying…
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Kyle Sekaquaptewa
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TULSA, Okla. — Local white student Tiffany Copeland took part in an ancient rite of passage today, effectively transforming into…
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Jeremy Kaplowitz
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CHICAGO — Local nerd Chris Patson found himself in a tight spot this morning during a political argument with his…
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Patrick Coyne
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Prick up your Commie ears, Libtards! Because I’m only going to say this once. I REFUSE to apologize for being…
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Nicholai Roscoe
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WASHINGTON — A report released today by a government efficiency watchdog group offered conclusive proof of “absolutely no collusion” between…
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