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34 stories found

Obama to Throw One Last Basement Party Before Asshole Tenants Take Over Lease

Ray McMillin • December 11, 2016

WASHINGTON -- White House Press Secretary Jay Carney spent the week stationed at Kinko’s printing flyers for “the biggest rager…

Bill Clinton’s Ska Band Looking Forward to Eight More Years of Practicing in White House Garage

The Hard Times Staff • August 22, 2016

WASHINGTON -- With Hillary Clinton’s steady rise in the 2016 Presidential election polls, former President Bill Clinton is optimistic he…

Malia Obama’s Secret Service Detail Subtly Suggests Iron Maiden Might Be Fun Concert to Attend

The Hard Times Staff • August 8, 2016

WASHINGTON D.C. - After cell phone footage of Malia Obama, codename “Radiance,” enjoying herself at Lollapalooza surfaced online, 38-year-old Secret…

Crust Punk Squatting in White House For 15 Years Now Legally President

The Hard Times Staff • May 26, 2016

WASHINGTON - After spending the last 15 years squatting in the White House, a 35-year-old anarchist crust punk known only…