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Trump Honors Black Civil Rights Leader Rachel Dolezal in Speech

WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump honored disgraced civil rights activist Rachel Dolezal in a speech celebrating Black History Month earlier today, recognizing her vast contributions to African-American history.

“Rachel Dolezal, great African-American woman, just fantastic,” Trump told gathered media in the White House Rose Garden. “Faced huge adversity growing up in the inner city. Chicago, most likely. She was living in hell. Which we’re going to clean up so fast your head will spin. They all love me there and agreed to stop fighting, thanks to me.”

Dolezal initially made headlines in 2015 when she resigned as president of the Spokane, Wash. chapter of the NAACP following allegations of lying about her racial identity.

“Rachel is being recognized more and more for her contributions to the inner city — marching alongside Frederick Douglass, I noticed. Doing big things for the NAACP. Huge organization for colored people,” Trump said in his speech. “Kellyanne said not to call them ‘coloreds,’ but they love me. Voted for me, big league. Huge numbers. Crooked Hillary wishes she had as many black people as I have.”

Traditionally during Black History Month, African-American artists, activists, and spiritual leaders perform or speak at the White House, paying tribute to societal contributions made by African-American citizens.


“We suggested a reading by Nikki Giovanni or Toni Morrison, but The President insisted that, after his Twitter fight with civil rights leader John Lewis, we invite a woman instead,” admitted one White House staffer, who asked to remain anonymous. “I tried to explain that Ms. Giovanni and Ms. Morrison are both women, but he just said ‘fake news’ and then spent 15 minutes yelling about Melissa McCarthy.”

Dolezal, who has kept a low public profile since her outing as Caucasian, was honored to accept the invitation to the White House.

“I feel so privileged to be here, representing my sisters during Black History Month,” Dolezal said, holding one fist in the air. “Donald Trump and I both prove that with enough make-up, you can be any color you want to be, regardless of what society tells you.”