AUSTIN, Texas — Local punk and self-declared “dish-truther” Sammy Gladwin has been reported by multiple sources as using both sides of plates to save on…
LOS ANGELES — Literary agent and frequent binge drinker Lana Delano has no idea that despite her protests, California’s statewide 2 a.m. last call is…
LOS ANGELES — The recently-released porn parody of edgy and controversial teen drama “Euphoria,” titled “Screw-phoria,” is stirring controversy for being “lame” and “weirdly wholesome”…
JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Local punk Wynn Hall updated their resume yesterday evening to include “selling plasma” following a long history of selling their own bodily…
DETROIT — Local metalhead, 36-year-old Denny Brokum, is reportedly willing to admit that he hasn’t heard of the band Scatological Wasteland but is confident that…
SEATTLE — Local man Troy Ritter announced his departure as the longtime merch guy for indie band Inside Cat to embark on a solo merch…
MILAN, Italy — The incorporeal specter that has haunted the historic La Scala opera house for more than two centuries recently came to accept the…
GLENDALE, Calif. — Local musician Charlie Clarke is reportedly threatening to join the growing boycott of Spotify and stop using the account that linked to…
DALLAS — Gary McGee, a 50-year-old insurance salesman from Fort Worth who recently married mother of three, Linda Villalobos, is by far the children’s hairiest…
SAN FRANCISCO — Customers at local coffee shop, Verdant Cafe, collectively felt shivers go through their spines when a barista announced a “cow’s milk” latte…
RICHMOND — Local cyclist, Peter Williams, survived a collision with an unoccupied van parked on a heavily-trafficked street late this morning thanks to his bicycle…
SAN DIEGO — Family and friends of struggling social media influencer Kevin Watkins gathered this Tuesday to try and mourn his untimely passing, only to…
LAS VEGAS — Poison singer Bret Michaels is reportedly still living on the bus where he unsuccessfully tried to find love more than a decade…
BEIJING — Norway added another gold medal in the 2022 Winter Olympic Games when their team of Black Metal musicians dominated the Standing Around in…
RAAHIL’S BODY — The fast-growing cystic acne chain on your friend Raahil’s face is launching franchise opportunities, with new pimples emerging on his upper back…