UNINCORPORATED TERRITORY SOMEWHERE IN THE PACIFIC OCEAN — Plane crash survivor and avid music fan Chris Ackerman was pleasantly surprised to see his top five…
Nuclear war. It’s been the backdrop for countless movies, and video games and served as the #1 looming threat that causing loss of sleep in…
PHOENIX — 35-year-old Cassie Lozano is in critical condition after she foolishly came to the conclusion she needed to limit her caffeine intake and decided…
It’s been said that hunger is the greatest spice, and while that may be true, we believe that authenticity is at least a close second.…
There are two types of people in this world: People who like to believe they wouldn’t hide their zombie bite from their survivor group, and…
ASTORIA, Ore. — Beginner survivalist Ethan Foster quickly forgot which of the two bodily wastes was sterile, piss or shit, while traversing his first expedition,…
CARVER, Mass. — Local metalhead Tyler Kearns admitted that the replica Viking sword he brought on his camping trip might look badass, but is terrible…
MADISON, Wis. — 14-year-old nu metal fan and novice Boy Scout Calvin Nelson is reportedly only interested in learning about the slipknot, frustrated sources confirmed.…
A person always has a razor-blade, piss, and a cigarette readily available, and whether you’re in the alley behind a bar or lost looking for…
As the apocalypse raged on, I’d begun running out of ways to entertain myself when I had the worst great idea of my life. I…
WREXHAM, U.K. — Increasingly unhinged survivalist and television host Bear Grylls used a serrated, fixed-blade knife yesterday to cut open his mattress and climb inside…
KALISPELL, Mont. — Prominent straight-edge hardcore band The Only Way Out burned their unused drink tickets last night in a desperate attempt to stay warm…
MOLINE, Ill. — Touring death metal band Spoilation reportedly wasted little time before eating drummer Vic Walsh after their tour van broke down, failing to…