Ian Steffé
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August 9, 2024
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Researchers at Harvard University determined that 100% of Millennials suffer from PTSD linked to exposure to the…
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Malia Simon
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August 5, 2024
BOSTON – Researchers at Harvard University studying the negative effects of phone usage before bed concluded that nothing fucking matters…
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Brisa Sylvestre
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July 3, 2024
AMHERST, Mass. — A new study conducted by the University Of Massachusetts found that roughly 9,000 bottles of perfectly good…
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Patrick Coyne
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May 16, 2024
NEW YORK — An alarming scientific study has discovered that the absolute worst drivers in the US are almost exclusively…
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Alex Vlahov
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January 9, 2024
DURHAM, N.C. — Researchers at Duke University made the startling discovery that the male brain does not fully mature until…
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Jordan Liffengren
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December 22, 2023
PALO ALTO, Calif. — Stanford University’s Fear Response & Behavioral Sciences Department officially confirmed “Can we talk?” as the scariest…
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Alex Vlahov
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December 18, 2023
BOSTON — Studies conducted at MIT show that when visiting a Chipotle Mexican Grill location, the person in front of…
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Allegra Ringo
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June 2, 2023
ANN ARBOR— A new study out of the University of Michigan found that 95% of bras being worn worldwide contain…
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Doug Kolic
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May 27, 2023
DELRAY, Mich. — Leading Juggalo scientists confirmed fascinating new research which indicates that “whoop whoop” has numerous meanings including “hello,”…
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Patrick Crooks
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April 3, 2023
WASHINGTON — A recent study conducted by Georgetown University showed that at least 90 percent of active math rock bands…
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