MORGANTOWN, W.Va. — A new study revealed that the average millennial has heard the intro to the Minutemen’s classic “Corona” around 25,000 times by the…
PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Initial intimidation of the 6’ 7 muscly, bearded, heavily tattooed man with his arms crossed was subsequently squashed as word spread of…
LOS ANGELES — Three legendary punk frontmen, Dexter Holland, Milo Aukerman, and Greg Graffin, all departed their respective bands to join forces and prepare for…
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — A study at the University of Rochester concluded that a staggering 83% of all traffic accidents are directly related to drivers attempting…
PROVIDENCE, R.I. — A new study from Brown University concluded that roughly 15% of the entire U.S. economy is based on subscriptions you either forgot…
ATHENS, Ga. – Researchers at the University of Georgia offered irrefutable proof that leaving an unread article open on an internet browser for fourteen days…
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — A new study from researchers at Harvard University shows that only 20% of Americans currently have access to beats to study/relax to,…
ST. LOUIS, Mo. — Local crust punk Lou “Canker Sore” Schultz revised his bucket list to include getting a disease named after him in an…
INDIANAPOLIS – A small but visibly-confused group of free thinkers stormed the HI-FI Annex stage to incoherently question the connection between weight gain and drinking…
PORTLAND, Ore. — A recent study out of the Portland Cannabis Institute shows American states that legalize recreational marijuana use see a 45% increase in…
BRIDGEPORT, Conn. — Heavy Metal Archaeologists remain locked in fierce debate over who erected a pyramid of Coors Light cans that was recently excavated from…
WASHINGTON — President Biden signed a sweeping new bill into law earlier today which will finally address the issue of student loan debt relief by…
MORGANTOWN, W.V. — A new study conducted by researchers at West Virginia University found that toddler nose theft has dropped by 85% in the U.S.…
LOS ANGELES — A years-long study by scientists at UCLA has proved once and for all that drinking eight glasses of water a day is…
DOWNERS GROVE, Ill. — A study by scientists at Midwestern University has revealed that not only are crows capable of sensory consciousness, but that they…