WASHINGTON — Dr. Christine Giles, a scientist at the Global Science Research Institute, just ripped a printing document off an antiquated dot-matrix printer, glanced at…
OGDEN, Utah — The recorder community grieved this week as its oldest living member, Jenny “Jelly Roll” Wilson, passed away at the seasoned age of…
DALLAS — Legendary ass-kicking institution The School Of Hard Knocks celebrated yet another graduating class of macho, non-PC, bootstrap puller-uppers this past weekend, multiple sources…
College kids these days can’t take a joke! Joe Rogan says so in every episode. With my eldest boy headin’ off to college, I needed…
WASHINGTON — President Biden signed a sweeping new bill into law earlier today which will finally address the issue of student loan debt relief by…
BEND, Ore. — Local second grader Kevin Wood spent a day home sick from school and inadvertently imprinted on game show host Drew Carey as…
CHICAGO — Cadets of the Chicago Police Academy were reminded of the exhausting six weeks of training they endured in order to become full-fledged police…
FROSTBURG, Md. — Local mom Beverly Hurd, whose son graduated with a creative writing degree more than a decade ago, is repeating her annual routine…
On our way to complete an interview for a deadline that passed a couple weeks ago, Johnny 5-0 decided to do their duty as fascist…
HARTFORD, Conn. — Local punk and 31-year-old adult man Kenny Whalen remains blissfully unaware that he is the Whalen family’s cautionary tale, concerned sources confirmed.…
SALINE, Mich. — Supposed “lame-ass” history teacher Trevor Rubio failed student Rachel Traynor yesterday for insisting that Neutral Milk Hotel lyrics were a credible source…
GARREG MACH — Officers Academy professor Byleth expressed frustration today at the continued restrictions on in-person instruction for their Wyvern Riding class. “I completely understand…
Beige cinderblock walls. A broken intercom system. The cold indifference of my captors. If I didn’t know better I’d say this was high school. But…