RICHFIELD, Minn. — Foot traffic at a local Walmart store has dropped off significantly after one of its greeters, unapologetic punk Steve McKenzie, has turned…
Holy hell! What the fuck is that thing? I have never seen a bug like that in my life and there is a near zero…
This country is going to hell. Everyday there’s some new bullshit that threatens our American way of life, like Taylor Swift and books about the…
Ah, Halloween. A holiday that’s all about bringing an equal amount of both joy and fear (though what’s scarier than gathering your extended family together…
GRAND ISLAND, Neb. — Local doctor Harvin Smill found himself visibly sweaty this morning responding with a mumbled sequence of “uhhh yeah me too, totally,…
AUSTIN, Texas — A desperate guitar pick is currently clinging to the inside body of an acoustic guitar belonging to beginner musician Vernon Nixon, nearby…
LANSING, Mich. — 14-year-old goth Sarah Marpa suffered a series of horrendous nightmares after watching lighthearted rom-com “The Wedding Singer” with her parents, confused family…
MILWAUKEE — Local man Jeremy Grimm’s sudden infatuation with a newly discovered band was put on hold today pending the results of a search of…
HANOVER, Pa. — Local Nazi, Kyle Rumbley, is unsure how to tell his family he voted for Joe Biden after Pennsylvania flipped blue, ultimately securing…
TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — Local Publix shopper Wesley Clemons removed his protective face mask this morning after realizing that no one else in the grocery store…
WILLIMANTIC, Conn. — Emo revival favorites The World Is a Beautiful Place & I Am No Longer Afraid to Die are reportedly considering a name…
ATLANTA — Local emotional support dog and shivering, terrified Spitz-mix Bartholomew was forced yesterday to fly on a 5-hour commercial flight to Seattle despite also…
BANGOR, Maine — Mayor Chesty the French Bulldog enacted a city-wide ban today on fireworks ahead of Independence Day festivities, citing public safety concerns, environmental…
ATLANTA — City authorities shut down a show at the Arm Pit Music Hall late last night when Snot Rockets frontman Aiden Conner, a.k.a. Billy…
NASHVILLE – Following a sparsely attended Halloween show, members of every band on the bill were horrified to discover the promoter — and all the…