These days, it seems like division is ingrained into the very fabric of our society. Whether it’s politics, religion, or even sports fandom, the possibility…
AKRON, Ohio — Progressive-minded, but very smelly, children across the world woke up to gifts from Crust Punk Santa who enters family homes via the…
DETROIT — Local man Stuart Bask magically began his transformation into an unfunny conservative after he accidentally killed comedian Tim Allen and discovered that he…
CHICAGO — Local goth couple Caleb and Adrienne Simmons recently decided to break the news to their children that Jack Skellington is not real, sources…
PHILADELPHIA — Lifelong Philadelphia Eagles fan Michael Catalano passed down his father’s beloved pack of throwing batteries to his son Anthony for his trip to…
Did you hear the news? Santa Claus is coming to town! For most, that means putting out the cookies and milk and eagerly awaiting his…
ANN ARBOR, Mich. — Local gamer Madison Sutton, 12, hoped to find a PS5 video game console under the Christmas tree this morning, but instead…
SEATTLE — Beloved Christmas icon Santa Claus announced today that he is starting a GoFundMe campaign after his sleigh was broken into while on his…
CHICAGO — Holiday icon and present delivery mogul Santa Claus admitted this morning that he snuck Bandcamp links to his latest lo-fi EP, “Jingle Beats…
NORTH POLE — Members of the organization Stop Treating Animals Badly [STAB] rescued eight reindeer yesterday that were allegedly being exploited by a reclusive hoarder…
NORTH POLE — Interpol police arrived at Santa’s North Pole compound late last night and arraigned Mr. Claus for violating numerous copyrights of Sony Corporation.…
Hi kids! Happy Holidays! I hope all you good little boys and girls have got your Christmas lists ready for Santa! What’s that? You don’t…
MONTCLAIR, N.J. – Eternal bringer of joy and recent vegan convert Kris Kringle ignored countless offerings of milk and cookies and left behind an informative pamphlet…
WASHINGTON — A flying sleigh led by eight tiny reindeer confirmed to belong to Santa Claus was found in violation of United States no-fly zone…
USA – A recent spike in GG Allin sightings has been linked to Christmas tree lots sprouting up around the nation, according to Christmas tree…