PORTLAND, Ore. — Members of notorious local punk house “Dish Pitt” finally found disappeared roommate Jon “Scuzzy” Baker last week when they began their every-other-two-years…
LEMOYNE, Penn. — Roommate and all-around jackass Glen Sullivan reportedly drank the last beer in the house moments after having sex with your girlfriend of…
HOUSTON — A punk house collapsed yesterday after the eviction of roommate Luis Flores, who it appears was a load-bearing, structurally integral element of the…
ST. LOUIS — Local punk Luke Koester downgraded his live-in romantic partner Samatha Tsai from “girlfriend” to “roommate” yesterday following weeks of forced cohabitation with…
ATLANTA —The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention is urging people to give a “free pass” for intercourse between roommates social-isolating to contain the novel…
BROOKLYN — Local roommate Will Sanders surprised his housemates yesterday when he finally bought toilet paper for the first time ever, somewhat relieved sources confirm.…
KANSAS CITY — Local slob Donna McKenny agitated her roommates again yesterday with her claim that the mounting piles of dirty clothing in their apartment…
EUGENE, Ore. — Perpetually inconsiderate roommate Michael Chabot was thrilled yesterday to discover a giant pile of garbage in his shared kitchen, knowing he finally…
POMONA, Calif. — Local straight edger Dave Bower drank every non-alcoholic beverage intended for use as a mixer last night during his roommate’s 21st birthday…
CINCINNATI — A group of punk house residents organized a large benefit show last weekend to raise money for their former roommate Mike Medina, who…
BIRMINGHAM, Ala. — Local man Dan Traver warned friends this morning that his roommate Will Fu’s tweeting of various Elliott Smith lyrics will likely “…turn…
ALAMEDA, Calif. — Local punk venue The Frick House installed depressed tenant Adam Gould on their couch yesterday, with full access to multiple streaming services,…
CHICAGO — Local woman and very loud porn watcher when she thinks she’s alone Amy Fritz realized late this afternoon that her roommate had actually…
WITCHITA, Kan. — Following a recent move, Clark Markson has reportedly grown perplexed at the several dozen HDMI cords he has somehow acquired. “I bought…
TORONTO — Yoga enthusiast Melissa Christie discovered last night that her yoga mat had been used, presumably by one of her three roommates and their…