Doug Francisco
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BELLINGHAM, Wash. — 25-year-old Kyle Booth suspects that his new punk friends only like him for his basement, now that…
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Tom Gannon
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AUSTIN, Texas — Researchers at the University of Texas - Austin have completed a study that made some interesting discoveries…
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Courtney Baka
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PORTLAND, Ore. — Friends of local man Jeremy Torres are unsure if his new girlfriend Laura Kelly is incredibly laid…
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Joe Rumrill
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KATONAH, N.Y. — After an incredible, fantastical journey searching for the correct venue of a secret show, local man Randy…
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Patrick Coyne
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NEW ORLEANS — Jerry Nichols, the enthusiastic and supportive father of drummer Chris Nichols, is incessantly emailing his son band…
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John Danek
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SEATTLE — Amazon founder and CEO Jeff Bezos announced his plans today to “personally beat the shit out of small…
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Courtney Baka
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An open letter to my son: Dear Leslie (although I guess you are going by ‘Slime’ now), I wanted to…
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Sari Beliak
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DENVER — Local all-around garbage human Russ Mitchell was totally grossed out by a female musician’s armpit hair during a…
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Kyle Sekaquaptewa
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LIMA, Peru — A team of archaeologists in the jungles of Peru made a groundbreaking discovery yesterday, unearthing the long-lost…
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Rob Steinberg
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HOLLAND, Mich. — Your 14-year-old cousin Blake Liston admitted to you yesterday that, as of two weeks ago, he smokes…
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