Aidan Sears
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EVANSVILLE, Ind. — Local delivery driver Mitchell Jenkins derailed a casual marijuana session on Thursday night after hitting a communal…
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Layth Sihan
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PLANO, Texas — Aging punk Jordie Farmer reportedly shaved down the sides of his back last night, creating a full…
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John Danek
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ATHENS, Ga. — Local man Jackson Green was busted early yesterday morning reading Sum 41’s Wikipedia page when his roommate…
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CHICAGO — A pair of tickets to Riot Fest purchased several months ago is reportedly the only thing keeping local…
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Jeff Cardello
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PHOENIX — The lead guitar tech at Kerry King Guitar Clinic attempted an experimental procedure last night to separate local…
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Rick Homuth
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TORONTO — Yoga enthusiast Melissa Christie discovered last night that her yoga mat had been used, presumably by one of…
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Ted Pillow
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LOS ANGELES — NOFX frontman “Fat” Mike Burkett held a press conference yesterday to apologize for a series of insensitive…
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Gerry Todd
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TUKWILA, Wash. — Tukwila musicians of all genres are mourning today after the town’s only competent drummer, Jeffrey Joyce, announced…
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Mark Roebuck
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TUCSON, Ariz. — A local show’s merch line was held up last night for more than 11 minutes when aging…
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Ella Gale
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LOS ANGELES — Local goth Jenny Carlisle successfully subverted cosmetic trends earlier this week by having her asshole professionally darkened…
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