Zach Raffio
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May 30, 2019
BRANSON, Mo. — Local woman Kimberly Feldman, currently chained to a pipe in the basement of a wanted kidnapper/murderer, acquired…
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Patrick Coyne
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May 29, 2019
DETROIT — Reddit user Gary Johannson accidentally messed yesterday with the one tough guy on the Internet who wasn’t lying,…
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Jon Swihart
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May 29, 2019
SEATTLE — Local singer/songwriter Brant Miller released a conceptual folk-pop epic today that’s clearly about getting back with his ex-girlfriend,…
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Mark Roebuck
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May 29, 2019
JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Rot Snockets tour manager Benjamin Underhall was fired today following his indictment on charges he withheld significant…
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Anna Walsh
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May 28, 2019
GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — Tour manager and merch guy Danny MacDonough was confused last night when a fan attempted to…
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Mark Roebuck
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May 27, 2019
DERBY, Vt. — The John Adams High School student council have launched a successful post-prom event, considered less aggressive and…
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John Danek
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May 27, 2019
MONTREAL — Manufacturers of online AI-driven mastering software LANDR announced a new feature today that politely declines a band’s inevitable…
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Brett McCabe
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May 27, 2019
NEW YORK — Spotify project manager Diego Valenzuela received an unprecedented raise of $0.00437 today for single-handedly rebuilding the streaming…
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James Webster
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May 26, 2019
RICHMOND, Va. — Researchers and social archaeologists at Virginia Commonwealth University discovered last week that the first-ever house show scheduled…
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Vince Ratti
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May 26, 2019
PHILADELPHIA — Local pervert David Bell could not climax this morning during his daily commute after noticing another bus rider…
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