LANCASTER, Pa — Amish musician Zeke Johnson bypassed his religion’s strict restrictions on modern technology by playing drums in his metal band Barn Burners, confirmed…
ATHENS, Ga. – Researchers at the University of Georgia offered irrefutable proof that leaving an unread article open on an internet browser for fourteen days…
VANCOUVER, Wash. — Howard Ramirez, the longtime merch guy for the metal band Hellspawn, was folded and crammed into a box by members of the…
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — A new study from researchers at Harvard University shows that only 20% of Americans currently have access to beats to study/relax to,…
PITTSBURGH – Local crust punk Connor Thompson openly rejects the use of normal paper coffee filters and instead uses a dingy, faded Discharge patch off…
PARIS — A team of international scientists at the University of Paris stunned the world when they produced the first hummus platter in human history…
PETALUMA, Calif. — Indie/jangle pop band Diet Water vowed that they will never play a show in Israel out of support of Palestine, though peers…
NEW YORK — Popular dictionary manufacturer Merriam-Webster made an unexpected change to the definition of “self-made” to include musicians with only one wealthy, connected parent,…
BLOOMINGTON, Ind. – Blitz Greg Bop, a rescue dog belonging to local punk Jimmy McCallister, significantly upgraded his dietary lifestyle since running away from home…
WILLIMANTIC, Conn. — Local emo band Fastpitch Baseball has reportedly gotten lazy during the recording of their new album and started using movie clips in…
LONDON — Notorious London street punk band The Ruckus Mutts were forced to abandon over fifty percent of their setlist following the announcement of Prime…
AUSTIN, Texas — Local man Evan Stark’s highly anticipated acid trip at progressive rock band Organic Matter’s outdoor concert was foiled by the opening band…
PHOENIX — 35-year-old Cassie Lozano is in critical condition after she foolishly came to the conclusion she needed to limit her caffeine intake and decided…
CHICAGO — The setlist for headlining band Numb Numbers is hoping that it goes home with some super-hot member of the audience, preferably that blonde…
CVS Worker Receives Blank Stare After Asking Woman How She Is Doing in Semi-Permanent Hair Dye Aisle
CVS Worker Receives Blank Stare After Asking Woman How She Is Doing in Semi-Permanent Hair Dye Aisle
GREEN BROOK, N.J. — CVS employee Martin Jackson received a harrowingly blank stare from a customer after naively asking how she was doing while she…