BEND, Ore. — Alleged “biracial poser” and local punk Liz Watson disappointed white stranger Dana Fields yesterday by inadequately naming three origin stories deemed exotic…
BUENA PARK, Calif. — Popular instrument manufacturer Yamaha announced a partnership yesterday with flagship nü-metal band Korn to produce a signature model 89-key piano, excited…
In simpler times, you could easily identify a common interest based on someone’s clothing. Wearing a shirt of a band you like? Instant connection! Nowadays…
DALLAS — Laid off mall security guard and avid Pantera fan Jamie Gunderson has essentially torn his apartment down to the studs with his fists…
PHILADELPHIA — Local Irish-themed punk rock band The Drunken Fighting Lads are being suspiciously protective of the ethnic background results they received in a recent…
FORT MEADE, Md. — U.S. National Security Agent Dan Briggs mentally prepared himself for another four minutes of unadulterated sing-alongs today after watching Lynn Lozano…
City punks are way too soft nowadays. I’m sick and tired of hearing all this crap about wage theft and other socialist propaganda. It’s like…
LOS GATOS, Calif. — The remaining members of the outspoken nü-metal band Trapt are seeking an ill-informed bigot with cursory drumming ability to replace their…
RIO RANCHO, N.M. — A single song by prog-rock legends Rush was mistaken for an entire prog-rock album by radio listener Melissa Chavez, according to…
Hey friendo! I know it’s a bit awk between the police and the public rn, but I have an idea. Umm, what if both sides…
MEDFORD, N.Y. — Aspiring film buff and possible ADD sufferer Jacob Leftwich spent the entire duration of “The Godfather” yesterday scouring tidbits and fun facts…
Sure it’s empowering to act on emotion and rage against the machine, but as you get older, you’ll learn that an idealistic outlook is unsustainable…
I can admit that some members of law enforcement just so happen to be the very same individuals that make up their local white supremacist…
There’s a reason Machine Gun Kelly’s album “Tickets To My Downfall” debuted as number one on the Billboard charts. And, no, it’s not because it’s…
PHILADELPHIA — Highly influential emo band Crowquill reportedly split today after producing just 30 minutes of recorded music and playing two live shows over the…