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70 stories found

Are You There, God? It’s Me, The Hot Milf In Your Area

Harley Murgatroyd • March 20, 2022

I seek console with the Lord who art in Heaven, thou who hath wrought my sexy hot existence upon this…

kids, parents, talk

Kids Finally Decide To Have “Don’t Believe Everything You Read Online” Conversation With Parents

James Webster • November 29, 2021

ST. LOUIS — Frustrated siblings, Andrea and Nino Shore, finally decided that it was time to sit their aging parents…

Tiny Free Library Bans Tiny Man for Masturbating to Tiny Porn

Collin Canning • October 9, 2021

BIRMINGHAM, Ala. — A tiny, free public library at the foot of a residential driveway was forced to ban an…

tasteful, nude, masturbate

Tasteful Nude Distastefully Masturbated To

Graham Isador • October 6, 2021

PHILADELPHIA — Local man Eddy Taylor showed his appreciation for a beautifully composed and tastefully shot nude photo of his…

Fucking Weirdo That Posts Lawn Care Tips on OnlyFans Over the Moon Right Now

The Hard Times Staff • August 20, 2021

SALINA, Kan. — Local nut job and content creator specializing in lawn maintenance Jimmy Dooley is rumored to be the…

sex museum, japan, pixelated

Sex Museum in Japan Entirely Pixelated

Ken Taro • July 7, 2021

TOKYO — The Seikoi Museum of Sex in Kabuki-cho, the red-light district of Japan’s capital, opened its doors for the…

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NSA Agent Braces Self as Woman Types “semicharmedlife lyrics” in YouTube for Ninth Time Today

Krissy Howard • March 4, 2021

FORT MEADE, Md. — U.S. National Security Agent Dan Briggs mentally prepared himself for another four minutes of unadulterated sing-alongs…

Man Convinced He’s Living ‘The Truman Show’ Gonna Masturbate Anyway

Jake Menez • February 13, 2021

BAKERSFIELD, Calif. — Recently divorced movie buff Darren Thorndike has not let his increasingly paranoid suspicion that his life is…

trump, presidential library, porn

Proposed Trump Presidential Library to Feature Extensive Porno Collection Behind Velvet Curtain

The Hard Times Staff • February 9, 2021

FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. — A proposed presidential library for disgraced former President Trump is expected to feature the world’s largest…

Porn Parody ‘Girls Done Quick’ Not Particularly Popular

Jeremy Kaplowitz • January 31, 2021

LOS ANGELES — Girls Done Quick, a new livestreamed porn parody of the hit video game convention Games Done Quick…