Mark Bouchard
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We’re at a crossroads here, and I don’t believe that social distancing is going to save us. Sure, I think…
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Bobby Korec
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DENVER — Local police apprehended miscreant Max Yelban last night for mischievously shouting “Arcade Fire” in a crowded theater and…
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SPRINGFIELD, Mo. — Local frontman Spencer Wilt made an impassioned declaration to the Coronavirus "and other infectious diseases," clarifying that…
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OAKLAND, Calif. — Local punk Eddy “Rotgut” Lewiston made a panicked phone call to his parents to make sure his…
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Dan Kozuh
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Uh-oh, it's happening again. That flush feeling. The heart palpitations. Racing thoughts. The signs are clear: you are having another…
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It’s been nearly 10 years since we were all wide-eyed college grads whose parents handed us the keys to our…
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Patrick Coyne
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BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Senior VICE editor Archie Jenkins sprinted from his office in Williamsburg yesterday after remembering he coerced a…
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Kyle Erf
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CLEVELAND — Showgoer Timothy Boyce has become trapped in a mosh pit after his panicked flailing and aggressive shouting were…
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