INDIANAPOLIS — Nu metal enthusiast and father of two Brian Michaels finally sat down to have the “A.D.I.D.A.S.” talk with his kids, JNCO-clad sources confirmed.…
Every System Of A Down Album Ranked
System Of A Down is one of those bands that has a near-universal appeal and everyone, whether they want to admit it or not, has…
Opinion: Nu-Metal Albums Just Don’t Hit the Same When They Aren’t Edited Walmart Versions
Whether they say it outright or not, people who claim to enjoy Nu-Metal in 2023 are only saying so because of nostalgia. Hell, they aren’t…
DUBUQUE, Iowa — Bassist Lefty García of the nu metal band Soild became entangled in his dangerously detuned strings at a recent gig, according to…
45 Minute Presentation About the Dangers of Wokeness to Open For Upcoming Disturbed Tour
CHICAGO — Long-running nu-metal band Disturbed surprised fans by announcing that the opener for their upcoming North America tour will be a 45 minute presentation…
DES MOINES, Iowa — Slipknot percussionist Shawn “Clown” Crahan was sent down to Mushroomhead for a 10-show conditioning stint in hopes of getting in better…
Limp Bizkit’s Debut Re-Released as “5.57 Dollar Bill, Y’all” After Adjusting for Inflation
JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Venerable rap rock band Limp Bizkit announced that their hit 1997 album “Three Dollar Bill, Y’all” would be reissued with a title…
GLENDALE, Calif. — Two of nu metal’s most respected acts, System of a Down and Deftones, announced a co-headlining tour under the moniker “Nu Metal…
Nu Metal Fan Proudly Showing Friends Every Time He Can Be Seen In Woodstock ‘99 Documentary
SYRACUSE, N.Y. — Local Nu Metal enthusiast Clark Cannon is forcing anyone in his life with a Netflix account to pull up the documentary “Trainwreck:…
Black Sheep of Nu-Metal Family Can’t Grow Soul Patch
BOSTON – Middle child and walking disappointment to his Nu-metal family Trevor Briggs Jr. is the only one in his family who doesn’t have the…
Woman Honestly Glad Man is Gatekeeping Nu-Metal
CHICAGO 一 Local woman and record collector Sara Yousefi feels extremely relieved and happy that a random man has decided to gatekeep nu-metal, groaning sources…
Fred Durst Clarifies That Nookie is About Sexual Intercourse
LOS ANGELES — Film director and Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst put an end to years of debate by issuing a statement clarifying that the…
Applebee’s Hostess Refuses to Seat Slipknot Until Entire Band Arrives
DES MOINES, Iowa — Liz Connelly, a second-year Applebee’s employee, refused to show three members of nü-metal octet Slipknot to their table until the other…
Nu Metal Marriage Counselor Not About The He Said She Said Bullshit
RENO, Nev. — Couples therapy specialist and nu metal enthusiast Dr. Stephen Hoffman has found it’s best not to take sides in an argument and…
Trapt Plays First Show in Front of Audience in Four Years
DAVENPORT, Iowa — Members of controversial nu metal outfit Trapt were reportedly overjoyed to play their first show in front of an audience in four…