After decades of shows set in suburbia, no other kids’ show captured the zeitgeist of urban life quite like “Hey Arnold!” It didn’t just feature…
COLTS NECK, N.J. — 40-year-old Luke Childers grew increasingly despondent as his birthday party came to a close, realizing for the third decade in a…
Someone has to say it: Dan Schneider is a piece of shit. He has recently faced significant media coverage and scrutiny over allegations of inappropriate…
October is the perfect month to deep dive into some spooky nostalgia! This year we decided to to spend a little time with The Midnight…
Excessive betting has the potential to destroy not only your own life, but that of your entire family. With the rise of services like DraftKings…
SpongeBob Squarepants. What do we know about him? He lives in a pineapple, but then again, who doesn’t? Said pineapple happens to be under the…
“Move it, football head!” For some, this iconic line immediately evokes memories of the classic Nickelodeon cartoon ‘Hey Arnold!’–starring a far-out New York pre-teen named…
BIKINI BOTTOM― Longtime cashier Squidward Tentacles is the lead suspect in a mass shooting at the Krusty Krab which left one employee dead and a…
NEW YORK — Owner and lead investigator of the Blue Prints Detective Agency, Steve, sat down and wept in his shower for several hours after…
If you grew up in the nineties, the alternative rock radio hits of the day probably bring you back to things like eating Nic Nacs,…
LOS ANGELES — Former precocious one-year-old and current convicted felon on parole Tommy Pickles, now 31, allegedly muttered to himself “a baby’s gotta do what…
ORLANDO — Peter Hannah, creator of the classic Nickelodeon series “CatDog,” announced last week that Cat is in fact the one who pisses and shits…
VERONA, N.J. — Local 36-year-old Jordan Wilkins still hasn’t forgiven himself for completely botching his shopping spree during 1994’s “Nickelodeon Super Toy Run,” friends and…
BLUFFINGTON — Roger Klotz, son of famed monster truck driver Edwina Klotz and former middle school bully, is “a fucking cop now with a gun…
Recently, the Hard Times sat down, on a concrete staircase, with one of the most influential voices in the history of crust punk, Stoop Kid,…