The Hard Times Staff
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GRESHAM, Ore. — Local bargain hunter Terry Hodges was relieved to discover that the writhing, chaotic mass of humanity trampling…
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Patrick Coyne
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HURSTBOURNE, Ky — Local technophile Dean Espinosa made yet another fucking pencil holder after needlessly blowing $10,000 on a 3D…
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Nathan Kamal
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SEATTLE — Local punk Jonathan “Johnny Balls” Denick has given full legal power of attorney to a dog with a…
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Caroline Smith
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HENDERSON, Nev. — Local goth Amarantha Obsidian blew her entire October grocery budget on novelty Halloween socks from Spirit Halloween…
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Nathan Kamal
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COLTS NECK TOWNSHIP, N.J. — Legendary musician Bruce Springsteen recently admitted that he made up the “American working class” during…
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Nathan Kamal
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Money doesn’t grow on trees and we’re all about that, uhh, hustle. Yep. All about it. All the time. Us,…
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Dan Luberto
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WASHINGTON — Local punk Dave Murphy has a weirdly small TV which is causing great confusion, concern and disappointment in…
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Dan Luberto
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WASHINGTON — Local punk Dave Murphy has a weirdly small TV which is causing great confusion, concern and disappointment in…
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Taylor Roebuck
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DETROIT — Local short person Elizabeth Kramer spent $90 on floor tickets for an upcoming concert after forgetting that she’s…
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Camden Brazile
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ST. LOUIS — Local man Connor Goodman checked the stock market today and was too confused by what he read…
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