ORLANDO, Fla. — A new long sleeve shirt design for death metal band Gorebomb is confusing fans with its overwhelming amount of designs plastered all…
Unhinged Psycho Prefers Band’s Later Stuff
SPRINGFIELD, Mass. — Local maniac Cole Kristoff openly admits he prefers the most recent releases from his favorite metal band Iron Weaver, outraged sources confirmed.…
Some old-school heavy metal bands tend to reign supreme 40 years later. Some tend to fall under the radar unless you’re a true-blue hesher. And…
10 Metal Bands That Are Metallica According to My Mom
I love my mom. She’s always supported me and all of my interests, even if she doesn’t like or understand them. When it comes to…
Sell Outs? There Are Hot People at This Metal Band’s Show
I’ve had a feeling this was coming for a while now and I’m sad to say that Encased In Ice has officially sold out. They’ve…
HARRISBURG, Pa. — Fans of black metal stalwarts Bloodfrost became disenchanted with the supposedly Satanic quartet when it was recently discovered the band’s latest publicity…
I’d say that I pretty much only listen to metal. Mostly doom metal. And some stoner and sludge. Well, also some blackened death metal. And…
Review: Fit for a King “The Hell We Create”
This week we reviewed Christian metalcore band Fit for a King’s latest release, “The Hell We Create,” which describes in detail a terrifying and painful…
B.C. Rich Issues Apology After Making Guitar-Shaped Guitar
ORLANDO, Fla. — Guitar manufacturer B.C. Rich was forced to issue an apology after debuting a totally normal-looking guitar that outraged their dedicated customers, confirmed…
Tool Setlist Written in Wingdings
ST. PAUL, Minn. – Longtime Tool superfan Tim Linstrom claimed the setlist he stole from the stage of their Twin Cities concert was written entirely…
Nu Metal Fan Proudly Showing Friends Every Time He Can Be Seen In Woodstock ‘99 Documentary
SYRACUSE, N.Y. — Local Nu Metal enthusiast Clark Cannon is forcing anyone in his life with a Netflix account to pull up the documentary “Trainwreck:…
High School Metal Band Adds OFFICIAL to All Social Media Channels in Case Impostor Accounts Ruin Their Good Name
LONGVIEW, Wash — High school metal band DeathRot added the word OFFICIAL to all of their social media handles in order to prevent fradulent accounts…
10 Things My Girlfriend Said at Her First Metal Show
My girlfriend Liz recently attended her first metal show, and here are 10 things she said. It’s Nice Not to Have to Wait in Line…
Embarrassing: Black Metal Band Unaware They Have Death Metal Name
OSLO, Norway — Members of the black metal band Flesheating Cadaver are reportedly entirely unaware that they have accidentally chosen a death metal name, vicariously…
Review: Type O Negative “The Origin of the Feces”
Each week The Hard Times reflects on a classic album from rock history. This week we decided to review Type O Negative’s “The Origin of…