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Metal Musicians Visiting Dead Friend in Cemetery Might as Well Take Band Photo While They’re There

TRAVERSE CITY, Mich. — Members of the local death metal band Flesh Quilt figured it would be a wasted opportunity to not take a killer band pic while at the cemetery after visiting their recently deceased friend, confirmed sources who couldn’t argue with that logic.

“Look, I don’t see what the big deal is,” noted Flesh Quilt vocalist Broderick Landingham. “I don’t think it’s in bad taste to take some promo shots right after visiting our friend’s grave who recently died after a courageous battle with brain cancer. It’s just smart time management. Plus the setting is perfect; sad-looking cherubs on top of a mausoleum, crows perched atop gnarled oak trees, an old man crying on a bench. This place screams death metal band pic, maybe even an album cover!”

Cemetery groundskeeper Gordon McSwindlon shared a different opinion about the musicians taking pictures in such a somber place.

“Pests! That’s what I think about them,” exclaimed McSwindlon. “These devil-looking weirdos dressed all in black are harder to get rid of than a family of groundhogs. They’ll be doing these strange poses in front of tombstones, skipping around with candles, and sitting up in the trees looking very moody. Then they take pictures of the whole thing. I just don’t get it! I usually just spray them with bear mace and they scatter like cockroaches. This cemetery is infested with metal bands.”

The ghost of their deceased friend was heard disapproving of the band’s actions.

“Boo! Just kidding. Sorry,” mused the local cemetery ghost and former Flesh Quilt bassist Miranda Baxter. “Well I see that they’ve moved on very smoothly without me. I’ve only been dead for like a few weeks. Death isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. It’s mostly boring. I mean, yes it’s pretty metal to fly around and scare people and stuff, but that gets old pretty quick. Did they even think to ask me to be in any of their precious band shots? No. I mean, I’m a literal ghost. Seems like a no-brainer. But that’s not new, since they never invited me to photoshoots when I was living.”

At press time, the members of Flesh Quilt felt it would be wise to take some backup photos while visiting the guitarist’s nephew at the local children’s hospital.