RICHMOND, Va. — Members of a new unnamed metal band were forced to watch every episode of the Amazon Prime show “Rings of Power” to…
Metal Musicians Visiting Dead Friend in Cemetery Might as Well Take Band Photo While They’re There
TRAVERSE CITY, Mich. — Members of the local death metal band Flesh Quilt figured it would be a wasted opportunity to not take a killer…
NEW YORK — Frontman of award-winning Heavy Metal band Xanstärr, Joey Blakkburn, says that he and the rest of the band hope to land a…
DULUTH, Minn. — Local prog metal shredders Bride Of Pythagoras made an announcement this week that every member of the band would be taking a…
Vegan Metal Band Sprays Crowd With Plant-Based Pig Blood
POMONA, Calif. — Legendary vegan metal band Feral Autopsy absolutely drenched their adoring fans with what was later revealed to be a fully plant-based imitation…
GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — Twin brothers Earl and Wayne Dunlap were chosen “Most Likely to Be Rhythm Section in Metal Band” by their fellow seniors,…
Metal Band Rushes to Take Promo Photos in Front of Burning House Before Fire Department Puts It Out
NARBERTH, Pa. — Local thrash metal outfit Gore Primordial hastily threw together an impromptu photo shoot when it was discovered a destructive house fire had…
Metal Guitarist Warned He Will Go Blind Playing So Many Solos
SHREVEPORT, La. — Local metal band Sinister Dissonance warned their guitarist Henry Derrickson that he’ll go blind if he doesn’t stop playing so many solos,…
Uh Oh: Frontman Is Wearing a Cape
PHILADELPHIA — Several fans braced for embarrassment at a local extreme metal show Saturday night when the frontman of black metal band Blürgnorff walked out…
CHARLESTON, W.Va. — Local man and lead singer of popular metal band, A Fistful of Fetuses, thought it a good idea to consult his company’s…
I Get Older, the Guys in My Band Stay the Same Age
Oiright, oiright, oiright. You know what I love about the local scene? Every four years it completely refreshes. Kids graduate from high school and move…
PHOENIX — Stead Ned, the guitarist for the Ned Flanders-inspired heavy metal band Okilly Dokilly, is worried about his missing gear after loaning his guitar…
New Pantera Box Set Just a Coors Light 24-Pack
GOLDEN, Colo. — Legendary metal band Pantera announced today a collaboration with Coors Brewing Company to bring their fans a new box set in the…
BALTIMORE — Local thrash metal band Gynosphinx reportedly spent close to $500 to soundproof their practice space last week out of respect for their neighbors…
Aging Rocker Now Only Destroys Hotel Bathroom
DETROIT — Aging rocker Perry Dunn, frontman for the seminal hair metal band Töpsy Türvy, left his rented room at the luxurious Shinola Hotel pristine…