My whole life, I just kept hearing, “You Geminis… I never know which one of you I’m gonna get! One minute you’re throwing the BBQ…
I am here today to talk about a false equivalency that has finally bothered me to the breaking point. Folks, the weather is not “Bipolar.”…
Yeah, yeah, I’ve heard it all before. So you’re my ex, huh? You’re the person I’ve been obsessively constructing imagined conversations with where I regularly…
PHILADELPHIA — Local screamo legends, Angel, played an uncharacteristically mellow and peaceful set in their first show since attending EMDR therapy, shocked members of the…
Hey, we heard you’re a real big Joy Division fan. Sure. Uh huh. If you’re such a big fan of the post-punk Manchester goth legends,…
The enormity of Kanye West’s celebrity is colossal. His followers are legion. Sneakerheads worship his designs. His artistry has generated behemoth record sales and he…
That really sucks about Shithouse Seth, man. If I knew he was having a mental breakdown or whatever, I definitely would’ve Tweeted to end the…
Chewing your fingernails is a disgusting habit and there’s no better time to kick your lingering vice than right now. In fact, it’s much easier…
SCHAUMBURG, Ill. — Twice divorced Uncle Mike Dilmer became outraged beyond comprehension due to the mere existence of Tofurky at his extended family’s Thanksgiving celebration,…
Depression is a real buzzkill. Or a buzz inducer if you self-medicate with alcohol like I recently had to stop doing. Constantly bottoming out aside,…
I’ve always found it strange that people need a device to beep them awake. Partially because that sounds like such a harsh way to start…
INDIANAPOLIS — National Guard veteran Katy Hawkins is reportedly still suffering from traumatic memories of attempting to navigate the benefits owed to her by the…
5 Adorable Photos of Celebrities and Their Pets To Continue Distracting You From Finding a Therapist
5 Adorable Photos of Celebrities and Their Pets To Continue Distracting You From Finding a Therapist
It’s clear: You need to find a new therapist like your life depends on it. Possibly literally. Yet here you are, distracted once again by…
BELOIT, Wisc. — Local woman Angie Tufts expressed that she feels “all out of wack” because of a recent Daylight Saving Time change, despite having…
Okay now just relax. I want you to close your eyes, inhale for a count of four, hold for a count of seven, and exhale…