LANCASTER, Pa. — Married couple Jennifer Schultz-Markakis and Dwayne Markakis are now using an underutilized set of nipple clamps to keep a bag of sour…
RICHMOND, Va. — Local crust-punk Richard Andre married his roommate Morgan Atwell yesterday in a romantic ceremony in which he passed his contagious ringworm infection…
SANTA BARBARA, Calif. — Newly-formed cover band The Good Beats is having second thoughts about playing the afternoon wedding reception of Helen and Juan Garcia,…
CLINTON TOWNSHIP, Mich. — The once-spontaneous ass play of local couple Tyler and Kelly Anderson has simply become routine ass work, the couple confirmed earlier…
Let’s get something straight, you fucking posers. I’m not some goddamn weekend warrior; I’m in this for the long haul. I actually give a shit…
OKLAHOMA CITY — The owner of a local goth bakery refused to bake a wedding cake for an “unbearably happy” couple last week, sparking a…
SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. — Newlyweds Brian and Susan Moore returned from their honeymoon late last week to find their wedding mix CD skewered by Pitchfork, earning a…
