“Careful,” Helpfully Warns Bystander After Woman Has Already Tripped
MONROE, Wash. — In an act of breathtaking selflessness, a local man warned a woman to be careful after she…
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Miriam Jayaratna
8 stories found
Chromeo’s High-Heeled Keyboard Legs Switching to Sensible Dansko Clogs
MONTREAL — Electro-funk duo Chromeo announced that they will be swapping out their long-legged keyboards’ signature heels for Dansko clogs,…
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Countdown to Vacation Seamlessly Transitions to Countdown to Going Home
TULUM, Mexico — Only 48 hours into her long-awaited vacation, 29-year-old Abigail Mahoney started calculating the number of days until…
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Inspiring! Golden Bachelor Proves You’re Never Too Old to Get Married, Give it Three Months, Then Get Divorced
“The Golden Bachelor” first captured the nation’s heart with a romantic tale of two widowed septuagenarians who were able to…
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Gavin Rossdale Reveals He Wrote “Glycerine” About His Tortured Relationship With a Rectal Suppository
LOS ANGELES — Gavin Rossdale, the frontman of the popular ‘90s rock band Bush, disclosed that the band’s hit single…
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Shopping Cart in Grocery Store Entrance About to Get Absolutely Fucking Railed From Behind by Other Shopping Cart
WASHINGTON — A crowd of onlookers gathered at the entrance of a Safeway supermarket in Columbia Heights in tingling anticipation…
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How to Maintain Your Mystery Even Though He Discovered the Secret Spot You Wipe Your Boogers
The worst has happened: your boyfriend used to think of you as his booger-less pixie dream girl, but now he’s…
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Multiple People Reviewing Google Doc Closest Local Man Will Ever Come To Having Orgy
PROVIDENCE, R.I. — 34-year-old Ryan Kirkpatrick experienced the thrill of a lifetime when three different people simultaneously reviewed his cover…
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