OAK LAWN, Ill. — Father of four and local businessman Theodore “Ted” Rosenberg considers his chili con carne recipe to be the ultimate legacy he…
CHICAGO — Local man Wesley Farkas is worried that a recent proposal to enter into a lifetime commitment with girlfriend Rebecca Bender sent the wrong…
BILLINGS, Mont. — Childless freak by choice Shelby Van Camp recognized yesterday that the silver lining to the colossal shitshow that is life right now…
“The Shining” is, simply put, one of the greatest horror films ever made. Hell, it’s one of the greatest films ever made, period! But what…
There’s no denying that the institution of marriage has drastically changed over the last few decades. I would never get in the way of any…
SHERMER, Ill. — A heavily scripted and complex romantic gesture made by local man Chase Stratford last week reportedly swept one young woman off her…
“I’m afraid you will never walk again.” Those words refused to take meaning for me. As Dr. Albert Green leafed through his papers explaining which…
I’m not a religious person or anything, but in some ways I guess I’m just old fashioned. This may not be a popular opinion and…
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Local gamer Marcus Fuller has reportedly begun his fourth marriage, saying “just one more run” at the altar to his bride, Theresa…
HUNTSVILLE, Ala. — Local married couple Colin and Vanessa Means’ marriage was saved yesterday after an impromptu stop at Spencer’s revamped their stagnant sex life.…
The debate over whether or not “Die Hard” is a Christmas movie has escalated over the last few holiday seasons and after years of analysis…
Fuck, Marry, Kill. The three paths to a complete life. Accomplishing any of these three feats before you die is noteworthy. But for David Childs,…
ANN ARBOR, Mich. — Guests attending the wedding of Michaela Hill and Carlos Gibson were forced to admit to themselves that the bride, far from…
Well apparently it’s “where we go one, we go alone” for me. Somehow, while my back was turned, my wife Linda became compromised by agents…
CLEVELAND — Local man Ryan Kaufman salvaged the majority of his unused best man speech yesterday after adding some minor edits to instead eulogize his…