NASHUA, N.H. – Rebecca Sanders, girlfriend of local punk Ben Stumpf, allegedly puts on a Henry Rollins spoken word record before leaving for work each…
Uh oh! You just opened Instagram and noticed all your friends are all in the same place and having a blast without you. Were you…
Medieval Times! There’s no greater meal you can get with entertainment for $65. Many co-workers and family members might think there’s something the matter for…
FAIRFAX, Va. — Local sad sack Mark Curtis unknowingly surpassed the world record for consuming the most French onion dip in a single sitting yesterday,…
DAYTON, Ohio – Local man Jesse Clingman found himself unimpressed and longing for a friend to direct his complaints after viewing the entirety of Peter…
GRESHAM, Ore. — Local friendless reject Dennis Hagar is looking to give away an extra ticket to tonight’s Classless Few show to anyone willing to…
MEMPHIS, Tenn. — Touring band Dwight Zombie made a last-minute stop in Memphis early yesterday afternoon for the sole purpose of relieving their bowels before…
BELOIT, Wisc. — Local woman Angie Tufts expressed that she feels “all out of wack” because of a recent Daylight Saving Time change, despite having…
CHICAGO — Perpetually lonely heterosexual man Cliff Parker is living under the mistaken assumption that he would be getting a lot more action if he…
Let’s be honest, making new friends after the age of 22 is nearly impossible. I would know. I haven’t made a single new one since…
SAN FRANCISCO — After liking, sharing, and commenting on his posts, it looks like your “new friend” from last week’s virtual open mic Chris Hardny…
Of the 178 reality shows MTV released between 2002-2005, none of them quite popularized using a blacklight to look for semen on bed sheets like…
LOS ANGELES — Out-of-work actor and outspoken conservative Kevin Sorbo sent his professional headshot to political commentator and apparent filmmaker Ben Shapiro in the off-chance…
KING OF PRUSSIA, Pa. — Lonesome guitarist Nelson Owens’s only friendly social relationship is reportedly with popular gear website and mail-order catalog Musician’s Friend, bummed…
SAN FRANCISCO — Local woman Amber Stevens is looking forward to a return of her favorite pastime of crying outside of bars again once coronavirus…