NEW YORK — Judge Juan Merchan made a second high-profile ruling earlier today when he gave 17-year-old Shawn Thomas, tried as an adult, life in…
WASHINGTON — Attorney General nominee Matt Gaetz made a shocking claim that he could expose his genitals to an underaged person and not lose any…
Due to unfortunate circumstances that are allegedly not your fault at all, you’ve found yourself at yet another parole hearing. Previous instances haven’t gone that…
WASHINGTON — President Biden issued thousands of pardons related to marijuana possession in a move that experts say will negate decades of Vice President Harris’…
WASHINGTON – Several members of the Supreme Court reportedly come together to form a pact, vowing to always be friends no matter what and to…
SUNVIEW, Ariz. — A local punk scene is committing to their decision to keep well-known abuser and the only keyboardist anyone knows, Matt Hulls, in…
MONTREAL — Canadian pop punk musician and overall good dude Jeremiah Dean released a public apology yesterday despite not being accused of any unacceptable behavior…
In 1970 the case of Roe vs. Wade was brought before the Supreme Court. After a nearly three-year trial and appeals process, the court made…
WASHINGTON — Democratic members of the U.S. legislature announced today that, “Fuck it, we’re gonna lower the minimum wage,” following backlash from supporters frustrated by…
WASHINGTON — Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh tried to create a new judicial nomination process yesterday, in which Ruth Bader Ginsberg’s successor will be whoever…
GOTHAM CITY — Billionaire Bruce Wayne, who recently revealed himself to be the masked vigilante known as Batman, has stepped away from his crusade for…
PORTLAND, Maine — Portland Police Department Officer Grace Hutchinson somehow fully believes that people have only recently started tampering with her food, snickering sources confirm.…
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Local protester John Reid reportedly missed a number of anti-police protests over the last few weeks, thanks to spending too much time…
SIOUX FALLS, S.D. — Rookie police officer and self-proclaimed klutz Ofc. Dennis Barton totally embarrassed himself this morning, spilling an entire cup of coffee all…
NEW YORK — Local undercover cop Daniel Cleary accidentally revealed himself as law enforcement during the protests surrounding the murder of George Floyd at the…