PATERSON, N.J. — Jeff Ackres, a prominent adult virgin, is currently deciding between tempting recruitment offers from both the involuntary celibate community and the fandom…
WASHINGTON — United States Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy confirmed that the deadly epidemic of male loneliness in America finally ended after an unknown person…
Let’s get this out of the way. Yes, I am an incel. And, yes, I know that’s “very 2017” of me. But facts are facts!…
SAN FRANCISCO — Just before Christmas, video streaming platform Twitch has banned users from making any mention of the Virgin Mary, the Incel Joseph or…
Fellas. Have you ever been in a situation where she just wasn’t feeling your flirtatious advances? Me neither. Evidently, it’s because I completely misinterpret every…
By its very definition, not everyone can be an alpha male. While I choose to surround myself exclusively with fellow alphas, I realize that there…
CLEVELAND — Involuntarily celibate churchgoer Donald Bates resolved today that, in observance of Lent, he will abstain from all sexual interaction, changing absolutely nothing about…
If you are looking for the spark that will ignite the flame of incel revolution, look elsewhere. When I bought my ticket to see “Joker”…
OMAHA, Neb. — College student and “good guy” with a gun James Watson was furious today after the latest in his series of romantic rejections,…
Attention concerned family members, co workers, friends and well intentioned acquaintances: You may stand down. Yes, I know it is “suspicious” that the woman I…
I used to believe in the left. Their idealism and commitment to defending the little guy felt smooth and untarnished, much like my own fabric…
AUGUSTA, Maine — Local nerd Martin Beauchamp announced to fellow members of the online involuntarily celibate, also known as “incel,” community that he had purchased…
REPORT: Local News Site’s Comment Section More Upsetting Than 4Chan
LANSING, Mich. — Media analysis thinktank MediaViews released a troubling report today, finding that the comment sections of Lansing’s WLXT news station have surpassed the…