Fellas. Have you ever been in a situation where she just wasn’t feeling your flirtatious advances? Me neither. Evidently, it’s because I completely misinterpret every sign that’s supposed to tell me otherwise. Or so I’ve been told repeatedly by my therapist, countless women, and more bouncers than I can literally remember.
If you’re anything like me, a guy who recognizes boundary lines and then makes the conscious decision to plow through them, you’ll probably need someone to help set the record straight. Here’s what I kind of learned about navigating the utterly cryptic messages women try to send you to throw you off the scent that they secretly want you to keep touching their leg no matter how many bars they’ve had to leave because of you.
She’s ghosting you – Evidently, if she doesn’t reciprocate communication, she’s just not having it. It may be hard to believe she’s not hooked even after your several dozen half-assed attempts of texting “hey” or “u up” and putting in zero effort to mentally engage with her otherwise. But it’s true.
How you’ll misinterpret – She’s probably been busy thinking of something super clever to text back. Yeah, that’s it. I’m sure any minute now she’ll get back to you with something like, “sorry, just seeing these 47 texts now.” Practice patience.
She says she’s with someone – Every time I meet a girl at a party the first words out of her mouth are about their amazing boyfriend or girlfriend. Sometimes both. Turns out, that’s a clear cut sign she’s actually into someone else.
How you’ll misinterpret – Sure, she might say she’s with someone else, but if she hasn’t named names it might just be a test. Women are all about testing you. Sometimes they just want to see if you can solve their riddles and mind games. Then you can call them out on their bluffs like I do. In theory, this should work. Surprisingly, it never has for me.
She flat out tells you – This is one of their more straightforward signs that’s fairly difficult to misinterpret unless you are a complete dipshit.
How you’ll misinterpret – Sure, she says that now. But she hasn’t even seen your collection of Game of Thrones-inspired sword replicas. Once she lays eyes on your Oathkeeper, “Damascus,” her feelings will change like the phases of the moon of Westeros.