Sinead Rose
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BOSTON — Local 34-year-old Dan Stanton emerged from a 48-hour alcohol bender with 23 new streaming subscriptions, sources confirmed. “I…
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Patrick Coyne
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PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Severely hungover barista Carrie Potenza is in significantly more pain thanks to her manager’s insistence on playing…
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Billy Patterson
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ALEXANDRIA, Va. — Local man Greg Fitzwater began scrolling through his targeted ads to try to piece together what happened…
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James Knapp
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MANCHESTER, N.H. — Dan Levitton, lead vocalist for touring hardcore band Weekend Proposal, told the “motherfuckers” in the back to…
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BLOOMINGTON, Ind. — Punk legend and resurrected Brood X cicada Titus Umbilicus emerged from the earth this week extremely late…
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Collin Canning
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CHAPEL HILL, N.C. — Local man and admitted problem-drinker Gibson Leary woke up this morning with a headache, dehydration, and…
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Taylor Roebuck
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MINNEAPOLIS — Former members of the band The Replacements were mortified to learn this morning, upon finally sobering up after…
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Louie Aronowitz
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NEW YORK — Bartender Chad Gallo reached out to ex-girlfriend Ashley Thomas last Monday with a text reading “U up?”…
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Louie Aronowitz
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NEW YORK — Local man Adam Lefler is increasingly nervous to check his 194 notifications on Facebook this morning after…
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