SPRINGFIELD, Va. — Local Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) representative Luther Sacristan Diaz confirmed that Elon Musk’s rampant ketamine habit is…
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Steve Packosky
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May 25, 2025
CASPER, Wyo. — Municipal Waste fan Dylan Medina was shocked and disgusted after remembering that he drank responsibly at local…
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Tim Sheard
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May 24, 2025
WASHINGTON — Popular YouTube children’s entertainer Ms. Rachel sparked backlash from pro-life right-wing commentators for her brave stance against ongoing…
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Steve Packosky
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May 24, 2025
These days, it’s important for us to find ways to earn a living however we can. Rising costs due to…
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Steve Packosky
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May 24, 2025
MARSHALL, Minn. — Slovenly and unkempt metalhead Freddy Clark somehow sported the most beautiful head of hair you’d ever encountered,…
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BRIDGEPORT, Conn. — Members of legendary New York Hardcore bands Malicious Destruction, Malfeasance, and Genghis debuted music from their new…
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In trying times, nothing feels better than an uplifting story that renews our faith. In Raleigh, North Carolina tragedy became…
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Nathan Kamal
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May 23, 2025
CHICAGO — Local 42-year-old man Marshall Reese is descending into a nightmarish, unending spiral of increasingly comforting sleepytime teas, unable…
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Tim Sheard
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May 22, 2025
WASHINGTON — Democratic leaders praised their own strategy of placing “gate” at the end of Trump-led Republican crimes in the…
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Ben Friedman
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May 22, 2025
America at its best is the land of opportunity. It’s a place where (on paper at least) anyone from all…
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