Mark Shady
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SAN FRANCISCO — Popular rideshare app Uber announced a new feature that would match intoxicated riders with intoxicated drivers, confirmed…
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Steve Packosky
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BUHL, Idaho — A book report on epic 1851 novel “Moby-Dick” by 10th grader Nick Henderson had clearly been written…
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Tim Graham
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HAWTHORNE, Calif. — A mechanical engineer at SpaceX spontaneously exploded while quietly working on a CAD drawing, according to blood-spattered…
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Dan Rice
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You all know me, you know how I make a living. For decades, I’ve spooked young and old alike with…
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Ben Sobieck
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MINNEAPOLIS — The appearance of an unremarkable cloud in the sky enraged pedestrians in Uptown, prompting a police response in…
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RJ Atkinson
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EASTON, Md. — Local misogynist Bryce Turner is starting to suspect that he, in addition to MSNBC, are to blame…
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Kyle Donley
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If you’re anything like me, you like to end a nice long day of crushing it at your dead-end job…
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Stephen Bell
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UPPER ARLINGTON, Ohio — Local fucking genius music critic Sam Buchman recently made very poignant critiques of all of their…
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Laurie Bolewitz
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NEW YORK CITY — Local woman Ashleigh Deacon officially replaced her morning positive affirmations with the entirety of Fiona Apple’s…
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Steve Packosky
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Oh man, we really need to do more research before we set up our interviews. To be fair, we are…
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