Tim Graham
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SARASOTA, Fla. — Beloved local air guitarist Lance DeStefano is recovering after overdosing on imaginary drugs backstage before a performance,…
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Dom Turek
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SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Local crustie Hank “Spew” Collins was shocked and appalled to discover the cocaine he’d been snorting all…
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SPRINGFIELD, Va. — Local Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) representative Luther Sacristan Diaz confirmed that Elon Musk’s rampant ketamine habit is…
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Rick Homuth
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LONDON — Cartoon bassist for the virtual indie rock group Gorillaz, Murdoc Niccals, died of a cartoon heroin overdose Wednesday,…
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Dan Kozuh
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CHICAGO — Local punk Gary “Crutch” Burke’s girlfriend Jacquelyn Flowers, who helped Burke get off of drugs, stop living on…
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Evan Caris
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SEATTLE — Method actor Chrstian Bale is preparing to star in a biopic based on famed Nirvana frontman Kurt Cobain’s…
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Stephen Bell
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AUSTIN, Texas — Punk musician Miles Finney is forgoing a descent into heroin addiction and skipping right ahead to being…
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Krissy Howard
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BECKLEY, W. Va. — Recent Philidelpia transplant Abigail Kingaby is currently making rounds to visit several friends, all buried among…
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Brendan Krick
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Great news for everyone here at our anarchist co-op! Folk punk legend and singer of “Scuzzy Steve and the Trash…
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Drew Behm
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All my life I've been two things: a scholar and a skeptic. With the legalization of marijuana in more than…
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