Cory Cousins
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NEW ORLEANS — Local goth Peter “Draven” McGinty, burdened by his age and weight, has surgically removed his lower two…
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Louie Aronowitz
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NEW YORK — Local woman Angela Lefler experienced an unending cycle of self-loathing and regret last night after her post-date…
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Kevin Hufe
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BAKERSFIELD, Calif. — The California Department of Food and Agriculture approved a program yesterday allowing nü-metal scientists to test potential…
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Rick Homuth
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PYEONGCHANG, South Korea — U.S. snowboarder Shaun White exchanged all three of his gold medals this morning for the prestigious…
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Charles E.P. Murphy
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ATLANTA — Punk couple Adrian Brooks and Vivian Morgan will try to spice up their love life for Valentine’s Day…
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Mark Hassenfratz
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BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Local punk Chelsea Bowers is reportedly preparing for what will surely be several rounds of involuntary music…
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Krissy Howard
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PYEONGCHANG, South Korea — D.R.I.’s legendary “Skanker Man” logo was awarded the Olympic silver medal in the men’s 5000 meter…
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Ashley Naftule
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TACOMA, Wash. — The residents of the “Scab Lab” crust punk house were evacuated last night in response to an…
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Kyle Erf
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HARTFORD, Conn. — Local comical shirt collector and self-described #Resistance member Jared Wayne was overjoyed this morning by the arrival…
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Legendary music producer Quincy Jones is best known for his cool demeanor and ability to spot raw talent, but the…
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