Patrick Coyne
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DAYTON, Ohio — Wise punk elder Jerry “Solly” Solowicki was asked to mediate this week between two bands that each…
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Rob Steinberg
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AURORA, Ill. — Soon-to-be 36-year-old white man James Brady is spending his last days in the 18-to-35 consumer demographic saying…
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Taylor Ysteboe
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LOUISVILLE, Ky. — Local punk Corinne Reeves realized yesterday that, as the newest drummer for post-punk band Proletariat Pony, she…
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Nicholai Roscoe
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WASHINGTON — Vice President Mike Pence unveiled a new outreach program to educate citizens surrounding the dangers of post-marital sex…
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Jordan Breeding
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CHICAGO — Noted rhythm-and-blues singer Robert Sylvester “R.” Kelly announced the impending release of an all-new hostage today, undercover police…
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Patrick Coyne
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CHICAGO — Polite and respectful punk Jimmy Arano “did the right thing” at a house party last weekend by slightly…
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Luke Thornton
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ST. PAUL, Minn. — Mathcore band The David Hilbert Filter Box has successfully converted the harsh 6.2 Pitchfork review of…
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Ed Saincome
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JAKARTA, Indonesia — The uncontacted people of the Teriku tribe are the last-known living humans yet to hear of Banksy’s…
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Dicky Stock
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BOSTON — Raw Sex guitarist Steve Dyer hopes to land a “fucking awesome” photo of him playing at a show…
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Rachel Buhman
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MEDINA, Minn. - Julio Anderson tore a substantial hole in the crotch of his jeans early Thursday evening while skateboarding…
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