John Danek
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STANFORD, Calif. — Researchers at Stanford University’s Department of Biochemistry have developed a new drug test that simply checks a…
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Dear Scabby: I am a straight woman who’s in love with a gay man — what do I do? -DELUSIONAL…
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BALTIMORE — Former 25 ta Life frontman Rick Healey, commonly known as Rick ta Life, finally noticed yesterday the obvious…
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TACOMA, Wash. — Self-described “true” Jimmy Eat World fan Tom Anderson was disgusted to hear early yesterday morning that you…
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DAVENPORT, Iowa — A group of four white men found yesterday standing in an empty field outside of Davenport are,…
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Graham Isador
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TORONTO — Recent divorcé Simon Brandt, who hasn't been to a live performance since before his marriage, purchased tickets today…
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CHICAGO — Doctors at UChicago Medicine were stunned last night when Spoonful guitarist Mike Murdoch awoke from a 46-day coma…
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SAN DIEGO — Local man and semi-frequent sex-haver Taylor Durham edited his 95-minute long playlist “Poon Tunez” yesterday while reluctantly…
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John Danek
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VIENNA – Local punk, former drummer, and current Vienna Philharmonic timpanist Griffin “Scuzz” Boyle removed his shirt minutes into his…
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Tom Peters
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ANAHEIM, Calif. — A study conducted at Moog Music’s NAMM trade show booth found that everyone firmly believes they correctly…
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