Lauren Lavín
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JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Old-school punk and the woman you call “Grandma,” Ophelia “Snotcock” Dillon, noticed you no longer come by…
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Lauren Lavín
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LONG BEACH, Calif. — A controversial report released by The Center for Technology today concluded that “probably like 90%” of…
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Kevin Tit
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MENLO PARK, Calif. — Popular photo and video-sharing social networking company Instagram unveiled a new filter last week that makes…
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James Knapp
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SEATTLE — Local man Evan Sobitski is terrified at the moment that he’s about to get in an actual, physical…
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Peter Woods
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JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Wes Borland, the assumed longtime guitarist of nü-metal band Limp Bizkit, was found to be a member…
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Krissy Howard
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CARSON CITY, Nev. — 63-year-old punk Ardith “Ardie” Keith cannot believe you haven’t heard of obscure local band Frankie and…
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Krissy Howard
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DOG HEAVEN — Several dogs awaiting entry into the big, grassy field in the sky are being forced to wait…
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REVERE, Mass. — Misguided 43-year-old street punk Martin “Peanut” Landers announced today that he will be upping his cigarette intake…
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Bobby Korec
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LOS ANGELES — The winner of the “Best Alternative Music Album” at the 62nd Annual Grammy Awards was allegedly produced…
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Matthew Keplinger
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LOS ANGELES — The traditional office space callout of “Kobe” when shooting a wadded up ball of paper into a…
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