LOS ANGELES — Popular rock band Imagine Dragons announced today that they scrapped their upcoming album “Explosion” when they realized none of the tracks could…
BETHESDA, Md. — Local woman Tabitha Wicksham is “not at all worried” about her husband sleeping with groupies during his cover band’s upcoming tour, citing…
MEMPHIS, Tenn. — Local man Garret Bergeron asked a Bizarro Records store clerk yesterday if she validated opinions before he purchased a stack of new…
CHICAGO — Local pervert Tommy Webster was surprised to discover yesterday a band named after mannequin pussy, his favorite fetish in the world, peeved out…
OMAHA, Neb. — Frontman/songwriter of folk/punk trio Astor tried to write lyrics as haiku poetry, but kept messing up the last line, sources confirm. “I’ve…
LOS ANGELES — The number of new recruits joining Tiger Army has reached an all-time low, according to numbers released today by the Tiger Armed…
EL PASO, Texas — The legal team at Williams & Ruprecht was stunned today when a seemingly normal stack of divorce papers devolved into outright…
LOS ANGELES — Local girlfriend Ashley Wagner mistakenly believes Bryce Latterby, her boyfriend of six months, is actively engaged in a sultry conversation with Instagram…
HOUSTON — Self-proclaimed “bad boy of outer space” Willis McReady cost the National Aeronautics and Space Administration approximately $3.4 million last week, cutting the sleeves…
BOSTON — Local record store owner Hank Lapkus is an anxious mess lately, spending every day hoping his customers don’t find out about the popular…
CUPERTINO, Calif. — Apple released a surprising new report today, revealing that the average iPhone owner uses roughly half of their storage space to save…
LITTLE ROCK, Ark. — Cabs, heads, and amplifiers of all kinds outnumbered attendees for a weeknight doom metal show last night at local bar Jimmy’s…
STAFFORD, Texas — 59-year-old custom bathroom tile salesman John Canales was shocked to learn from his punk son yesterday that he would be 413 in…
MINNEAPOLIS — First time poker player Ryan Feldman is absolutely cleaning out his friends in a game of Texas Hold ‘Em, though he’s not sure…
KINGSTON, Jamaica — An ocean liner hosting the 311 Caribbean Festival Cruise struck a reef off the coast of Jamaica yesterday, spilling nearly 11 million…