LUBBOCK, Texas — Chicken farmer Todd Lowe admitted today that he’s fed up with the stream of people who are impeding his farm work by…
ATLANTA — The CDC issued new guidance this week aimed at expanding COVID-19 vaccine access to individuals currently experiencing any age-related struggles chronicled by The…
WHITE PLAINS, N.Y. — Funeral preparations are already underway following the untimely passing of rapper and actor Earl Simmons, better known as DMX, and is…
LOS ANGELES — Nine Inch Nails’ frontman Trent Reznor is reportedly preparing an upcoming national tour with bandmates staffed exclusively with “random dudes” he found…
NEW YORK — Fortune magazine released the first-ever Misfortune 500 list last week, citing a need to highlight the “fucking losers of capitalism foolish enough…
ANN ARBOR, Mich. — A study published Thursday in the University of Michigan’s Journal of Human Psychology confirmed that an old lady librarian going, “SHHHHHHHHHHH!”…
Yes, we’re living through a global pandemic and COVID numbers are rising every day, but it’s still Rex Manning Day. Since the original release of…
TRAVIS COUNTY, Texas — Local college student Jason Manzano expertly danced around the subject of vaccination rollout last week upon returning home on break from…
NEW ORLEANS — Clint Frenzy, the legendary jazz drummer known for his innovative yet traditional style, reportedly holds his fork the same “kind of weird”…
INDIANAPOLIS — Members of sludge band RESINator expressed a desire to play faster, heavier death metal, but admitted that they are just exhausted all day,…
NEW YORK — Newly separated couple Morgan Gregany and Riley Churchill will continue their relationship on a strictly utilitarian basis as friends with healthcare benefits,…
LOS ANGELES — Late 90s radio staples and current Twitter influencers Eve 6 are defending their text-based social media output today amid outcry that the…
RALEIGH, N.C. — Local woman Anne Al-Mandeel discovered last week that, in a whirlwind twist, her stand-up comedian ex-boyfriend is somehow worse than her musician…
BIRMINGHAM, Ala. — Local punk band Cosmic Failure startled virtual show attendees last night when they logged out of Zoom and logged back in for…
BUENA PARK, Calif. — Popular instrument manufacturer Yamaha announced a partnership yesterday with flagship nü-metal band Korn to produce a signature model 89-key piano, excited…