Tim Sheard
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WHEELING, W. Va. — Local conservative Jerry Wardmore repeatedly stated that Vice President Kamala Harris’ proposed ban on grocery price-gouging…
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Tim Graham
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MANCHESTER, England — Ex-Smiths bandmates Morrissey and Johnny Marr were spotted in close proximity of one another at the Oxford…
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Alex Kitsinger
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This certainly isn't good. You’ve been left alone to watch the cart, and your turn at the cashier is rapidly…
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No trip to Whole Foods is complete without a playlist filled with R.E.M. songs. Georgia’s jangle-pop troubadours have entertained the…
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Colleen Nerney
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BUTLER, Pa. — Local lesbian Katie Hargrove recently came to the horrifying realization that she is becoming her father, sources…
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Krissy Howard
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DRYDEN, N.Y. — An online trend known as the “milk crate challenge” left local punk Shelby Smalls with almost no…
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Nathan Kamal
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ROCKFORD, Ill. — Retail clerk Emma Stephenson finally began to feel a sense of normalcy as an unreasonably irate customer…
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Krissy Howard
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LEWISBURG, W.V. — A $35 gift card for the Kroger grocery store chain, courtesy of local mamaw Juanita Crabb, is…
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Mark Bouchard
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MURRAY, Utah — Card-carrying member of both the NRA and Costco’s premium membership Greg Young was forced to leave the…
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Tom Peters
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WINSTON-SALEM, N.C. — Disgruntled, maskless consumer Rod Shockley was seen outside a local supermarket yesterday asking customers complying with the…
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