BAR HARBOR, Maine — Local teenager Russ Mitchell, Jr. was uncomfortable and unsure where to direct his gaze yesterday after hearing his father say, “I…
DENVER — Local punk Zane Winslow Jr. claimed today that although he is named after his father and is familiar with his father’s existence, he…
WARRINGTON, Pa. — Local man Bryan Walsh is terrified and “jumping to insane conclusions” this morning after his father, commercial electrician Murray Walsh, cryptically said…
TUCSON, Ariz. — Punk dad Tom Fogelberg watched proudly from the bleachers on Thursday night as his son Jaxon “completely and utterly sucked” at playing…
DALLAS — Local punk and father of three Andrew Semple reportedly allowed his underage son Andy, Jr. the privilege of sharing “just one” huff of…
The holidays are a time for family togetherness and love, which is why I am filled with the unshakable grief that I must invite you…
CLEVELAND — Scene veteran and new father Darnell Tyler set out this week to prove his critics wrong by showing that, despite his new parental…
FORT WAYNE, Ind. — Local father Bill Matheson has offered his children, family, friends, and modest acquaintances the opportunity to rip any of his 1,300…
VALLEY STREAM, N.Y. — Suggesting you “could definitely put it to good use,” your dad reminded you this morning that you are “free to take”…
CHICAGO — NetherRealm Studios announced today that the next DLC character in the Mortal Kombat franchise will be Drunk Father. Sources close to the company…
PHOENIX — Netflix has ordered three separate hour-long, stand-up comedy specials from local dad Bob Cecil after his hilarious comedy performance during a family dinner…
TRENTON, N.J. — Local father Frank Redondo continues to live unknowingly under speculation and ridicule due to his unshakeable belief that Freddie Mercury was heterosexual,…