It sucks being home for the holidays as an unmarried, childless person; the interrogating questions from relatives about my future, the condescending advice, and most…
BURBANK, Calif. — Contrarian punk Greg Howard derailed his family’s appearance on “Family Feud” yesterday with esoteric answers and random outbursts, production sources still cleaning…
MOORESTOWN, N.J. — Local mom Jerri Donalda is running out of polite euphemisms for describing her “free-spirited” daughter Anne in the annual family newsletter, worried…
BRANSON, Mo. — Teddy Hitherton, the lead guitarist and backup vocalist of The Hitherton Family Jamboree Gang, announced yesterday that he would continue as a…
CUMBERLAND, Md — Local mom Beth Clarke proudly placed a print-out of her son’s band’s 7.1 Pitchfork review on her fridge today, citing the notable…
COVINGTON, Ky. — Magick shop owner and obvious goth Maryanne “Luna” Hobbes couldn’t decide this morning how many corsets to pack for an upcoming family…
Some people are able to drink in moderation. I’ve been told, on many occasions, that I am certainly not one of those people. So much…
Uh-oh DIY gang, it looks like we have a sellout on our hands! Pat Jenkins, former guitarist of the now-defunct legendary hardcore group Risk Damage,…
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Jimmy Feldman has reportedly been practicing Super Smash Bros. Ultimate for three hours every single day after work in preparation for when…
Dear Little bro, You’re a real cool guy. Pretty much everyone agrees with me: Mom, Dad, Uncle Andy. It’s been a long time coming but…
MINNEAPOLIS — Guitarist Bradley Eflin claimed last night that he was “going out for smokes” before allegedly abandoning his band of 12 years to pursue…
NAPERVILLE, Ill. — High school freshman and self-described punk Michael Wade is calling his family’s upcoming Walt Disney World vacation his “Southeast Tour,” despite having…
COLUMBIA, S.C. — An advocacy group of American parents announced this morning that the top new personality on the Twitch video game streaming platform was…
SOUTH BEND, Ind. — The Scott family is paying tribute to Wrigley, their former family dog and long-deceased canine, by keeping his name alive within…
I am not calling you a liar, I am just saying that is not what my older brother told me and he knows what he…